Keep Your Relationship Fun and Flirty
All it takes is a little time and attention…
You’re in a long-term relationship with someone. Congrats! You have someone to go to a movie with you, someone to shop for shirts with you while being honest about how it really looks, and someone who will converse with you about most subjects. Isn’t love grand? Wasn’t love grand might feel more like it. This pandemic is ruining plenty of people’s love lives, and therapists are hard to find because they are booked for the next two years.
What are you going to do? Talking to a random family member helps, but there are so many ways to keep the flame burning long after the head rush of infatuation has left your body. I’ve been married to my college sweetheart for over thirty-three years, and we’ve been together for thirty-six years. We have two married children, and one who is getting married next year. I think I can throw out some tips and pointers that we all have employed to keep our most important relationship vital, thriving and fun. Here goes…
Your partner/spouse/lover is the most important relationship you have, so tend it as you would a garden in summer. Talk to each other with no television on. Eat dinner together, even if it’s beans and rice, and talk about what happened or didn’t happen in your day. Try to speak about positive events or emotions more than negative, but if you are depressed, anxious, or paranoid then you need medical help from a certified counselor in addition to a psychiatrist. Drink your morning tea or coffee together while talking about your hopes and dreams. Share you lives.
Talking together is importnat. Keeping it light and flirty at times is also important. Yes, the garage needs to be cleaned out before winter, but don’t go on and on about it. Which leads me to the no nagging rule. Asking your partner to do something is okay. Once. Write it down if it makes you feel better and wait. Bring it up in one week if it really needs attention, such as a door that won’t lock. But treat the other the way you want to be treated. Lead by example. They might not catch on, but over time you can explain to your partner/loved one how you’ve been very patient and attentive and you would appreciate that in return.
Find adventure together. Now this depends on your age, circumstance (kids etc.) and income. You can fly to Hawaii and cliff jump together. Drive to the Appalachian Trail or something like that by you, and stay at an inn or camp and hike. Cook over the fire, and when the sun sets get all cozy and sit next to your love by a fire. Find an amazing place to eat. Say goodnight to the sun in the evening. Walk in your neighborhood after work or on weekends. Find a great new drink whether it is espresso, wine or bourbon. Together. Go on a weekend trip if you can, but if not, you can still find places outside to enjoy. Cross country skiing is a blast. Do active things together.
If you have children, remember even though they suck up your time and attention, your partner comes first. Many couples drop the ball on this one, because when a baby enters your world, they are so cute and demanding. This child can become your whole world if you let it. Don’t! Yes, your child can be in club hockey, but make sure all that running around for your child(ren) doesn’t leave your love life cold. You must create pockets of time together, even while the children are sleeping. Or watching a Disney movie. Keep your partner first, and you’ll see how it positively affects your love life.
Next one is sex. Have it. Even if you don’t feel like it. And with the pandemic, so many of us are living in sweats, joggers and tees. We need to shower, shave and dress up sometimes. That means jeans. Try to look nice for your lover. Put on the aftershave lotion that she loves. Wear the high heels that he says make your legs look sexy. Just stop lounging all the time, and if your jeans are tight, maybe it’s time to take care of that. No matter what though, you must have sex. Go through the motions, and suddenly you’ll be very into it.(Hopefully.) Read something slightly erotic. Try something new, but stay active in your bedroom.
These are a few tips to get you started. I know the therapists are all booked up. I tried to get in to see mine, and she said she was too busy. So read some self-help books. Not every book will help, but one of them will. Maybe all of them will have little bits of help that will make your relationship even better than it ever was. Keep looking for advice and tips, and realize the problems facing us today make it difficult to have a great love relationship. But this is your life, and your partner’s life too. You’re in this trip for a lifetime, so why not make it a little more fun? Enjoy the roller coaster, because we’re all going to have ups and downs. I just hope for more ups. I hope that for you, too.
