Why Prince Harry Doesn’t Like Camilla
Or why Harry is acting like he did when he was a teen…
You know the story. A lovesick girl from the right kind of family fell in love with a prince who spurned her even while he decided to marry her. Poor, poor little rich girl. Her prince was in love with a mean, wicked woman married to a man and living in the country. “There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded.” Ouch!
How awful Princess Diana’s life had been all along, and here she was this saint who met and held AIDs patients, spoke with the dying and took her two sons to McDonalds, so they would grow up normally.
What was wrong with Prince Charles? How dare he hurt Di like that!
I felt that way, too, for many years. And when Diana died it felt like everyone’s fault but hers, never mind the unused seat belt on Diana’s side of the car. We didn’t even want to think about Camilla and Charles, because he had to pay for the death of his ex-wife. Ex-wife.
Let that sink in for a minute. Ex. As in not together for whatever reason, and the truth might jolt you a bit. It did for me, after hours and hours spent reading and watching videos and interviews. When Diana died she was no longer married to Prince Charles, and it might stun you to know Diana changed from a happy, bubbly woman to a bulimic who obsessed over her image and was drawn into the fame game.
Charles liked Camilla when they met in the early 1970s, but his relatives told him he couldn’t marry her, even though they were compatible. Incredibly so. The Queen married for love, but Prince Charles did not. He waited years after Camilla started a life with Andrew Parker-Bowles, and he was told it was past time for him to settle down. But it had to be a virginal woman from the right kind of background.
Enter Lady Diana Spencer. Young enough to have had zero experience with men and love, and Prince Charles asked her to marry him. She said, “Yes, please.” Not exactly a fairy tale start. After thirteen meetings, some with the Queen present, they married and were expected to live happily ever after. Only it didn’t work out that way.
Charles did try. Diana tried, but her mental health issues caused trouble in their marriage, and they weren’t a love match. Diana turned to other men. After Harry was born, Charles turned to Camilla for help. A friend of Charles said he was deeply depressed over his marriage, and Camilla had a way with making the prince laugh and forget himself.
When two people who love one another find each other again and marry, we cheer them on. What we know is there were actually four of them in that marriage. Charles, Diana, Camilla, and James Hewitt or Barry Mannakee or James Gilbey or Oliver Hoare or Will Carling or Hasnat Khan. Even Dodi.
The royal family now recognizes Camilla is good for Charles and they are good together. Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall works many long hours for the Crown, and when Queen Elizabeth recognized Camilla by stating she would indeed be called Queen (Consort) Camilla, the other royals cheered for her. Charles was pleased, and Camilla felt deeply honored. William gave his support to his stepmom, and Harry? Said nothing. Silence was heard for once from the California ex-royal, which is rare.
Harry had been told this news was coming, so why be silent?
Does Harry still think his mom should have stayed married to his dad, and that would have saved her life? Does Harry see his parents through the lens of a twelve year old boy yet? Hasn’t therapy helped? Harry used to like Camilla, and they would hug and laugh together. In the good days before Meghan came aboard.
Meghan loves Princess Diana, and she wrote in her blog about the romance of Kate marrying a prince and becoming a princess. Old friends say Meghan devoured books on Diana, and she liked the late princess. Harry regressed after he married, and why did that happen? Why did he used to like Camilla, and now days after the good news, Harry only spoke about Diana. Again.
Harry does talk about his late mother quite a bit, and Diana has been gone for almost 25 years now.
His father has been with Camilla longer than he was with Diana, and that includes the years of separation. Why can’t Harry be happy for his father?
Some think he’s stuck in an unhealthy pattern of focusing on his mother and looking at the past. If only his dad had provided security for Di, only it was Diana who turned it down out of paranoia.
If only his dad and mom had stayed unhappily married. If only Diana and Dodi hadn’t dated. If only his mom had stayed home. If only.
I’m sad for Harry. I’m sad for William, too. They lost their mother, and she loved them both so much. They are loved by their father, who realized on August 31, 1997 that he would be the only living parent to these two grieving sons of his. Charles grieved too. It felt like we all did, and after many, many years she is finally resting. Diana did many good things for many people, but the most important thing she ever did was she loved her two boys fiercely.
Harry has reverted to talking about Diana again. He brought her up on National HIV Testing Week, and Harry vowed to continue her work. That’s nice, but what about recognizing that the woman his father is married to now is doing good things, too. Camilla addresses domestic violence, which affects so many.
The Duchess of Cornwall empowers women, stands against animal abuse, champions the arts and the elderly. Can Harry say something nice about Prince Charles’ wife of almost seventeen years? Can Harry go back to saying nice things about his stepmother?
I will always feel sorry for the two boys who walked behind their mother’s coffin. Those boys grew into men, and now middle-age greets them. Prince William tries to make his mother proud, while loving his father. Can Harry love his father enough to want his happiness, even if Charles never gives him and Meghan another pound? I hope so. Happy endings are possible.
It is within Harry’s power to want his dad to be happy. All he has to do is care and be kind. Two things he and his wife speak about frequently. I hope they both find that kindness and compassion within themselves and extend it to a father and father-in-law. We yearn for happy times. We leave most of the sadness behind while reaching for the light, the good, the best in others. Especially our fathers and mothers. I’m still hoping for Prince Charles and Camilla to be supported by Harry again.
