You’re Not Alone
Even When It Looks and Feels That Way…
It’s been a tough week for us. I think the Uvalde shooting on Tuesday brought many people to the brink of despair, anger, hopelessness and rage. Inflation isn’t helping anyone feel better, and the stock market is eating up people’s retirement cash quickly.
Maybe you feel alone. Maybe crawling onto social media makes you feel uninvited, but you’re not. Don’t believe it for a second. There are always like-minded people out there who will be there for you as long as you’re a fairly decent person.
Yes, I write about the royals elsewhere, and I don’t like Harry and his wife for what they have done and are doing. You might disagree with me, as is your right, but if you’re not a raging narcissist with egomaniacal tendencies, then you will find others to stand in your corner.
If you’re alone this weekend, thinking about all the people at picnics and parties, let me reassure you that many more of us are home not doing anything more than watching the Indy 500, maybe puttering in the garden, and picking up a book in the silence of our homes. You aren’t missing out.
In fact, you are included in the largest party: the one where we are home. Alone. Not hanging with friends or family. Not reaching out. Not swimming at the pool. Not drinking mojitos in someone’s backyard with music blaring. You are with us! Join in on not joining.
Are you thinking that doesn’t make sense?
In a way it really doesn’t. But since I was lucky enough to fall into a hole with lupus and some other issues, I’ve learned the art of how to belong as much as possible. Even when it feels like it can’t happen.
I don’t live by my family of origin since I turned nineteen. I made my husband my family, and in turn his mom and dad welcomed me to Wisconsin for all the years I stayed there. Now that I’m in Ohio with my husband, we made our three children, our family of five, our circle. We come first.
And as each child brought in a spouse, we welcomed them. It helps that we genuinely like and love their spouses. We’ve done breakout games together (talk about some tense moments), gone to Reds games in the stifling heat, and we celebrate every single birthday of each person in the Eppers family.
With my children either having children or earning them through marriage, that makes for a lot of celebrating. We choose to love.
I know lots of people who choose to stay away from family, but unless they’re toxic, can you maybe forgive and overlook their behaviors and quirkiness and hang out once a month? Game night? Trivia parties?
If you’re family is far away, then make a family. Find friends to do life with. And churches are quite fabulous with this. I know Crossroads Church in Cincinnati is huge (I’ve been), and they plug people in together. Do that. Join. Do life with other lonely souls who are just bumping into walls, alone, maybe sad, overwhelmed and wondering what to do.
Then we can talk about the shooting, the price of gas and how people feel so divided these days.
We find our fun. We find our family. We hold that power in our hands. So remember that you’re not alone. You have another almost 8 billion souls on this planet who are looking for a friend. A family. A community. You’re not alone.
